The Power of Porter

I love thanksgiving. It's basically Christmas without the gifts. We get together and spend time with our family and extended family. We eat yummy food. We think about others. We reach out and help others. We express gratitude and think of things we're grateful for. And there are NO gifts. It's the BEST! This year, when I'm asked to say what I'm grateful for, I'm going to say, "I am grateful for the PEACE that comes amidst trials because of the comforting spirit of Christ and for the faith and trust I have in the Savior that HE IS and WILL DO all that He says He will." I feel grateful that I have been able to draw on my faith and that I have found such strength and comfort in it. I'm thankful I have a believing heart.  Last night, as I was putting Porter to bed, he said, "I don't thank you enough." I responded, "I know you're thankful...But it would be nice to hear more often." He smirked and said, "No thanks."

People say they love that I'm "real" on this blog....and with what I share, I guess I am real. But there is sooo much more that I don't share. I feel like I give an accurate picture of what's going on in our world and I know most people are here to rejoice with us as Porter progresses and navigates his way on this journey. Most of the time, I'm up for it all. I have, luckily, been a pretty positive, upbeat, optimist in life. I find myself trying to be UP for all of it, but lately there has been a heaviness in my heart. I'm tired. It's a thankless job. I miss so many things that used to be my life. The newness of it all has worn off and gratefully everyone has continued on in their lives. But for me and Paul and Sawyer, there is still a daily reminder that our life has changed and we continue to try to make sense of it all and we are having to keep being brave. Emotions are bottled up, worries and frustrations are kept quiet, stress and anxiety are near

Today marks 6 months since Porter's accident on April 26th. I can't believe it. It seems like it's been 3 years. I feel terrible that I haven't been better about keeping up on this blog. I feel overwhelmed when I sit down to write. There's so much going on inside of me and outside of Porter and his situation that consumes me, that I find its hard to sit and just talk about Porters progress. BUT there IS progress. Amazing, wonderful, awesome progress and I need to document it. But sometimes our world feels mundane. Same thing day in and day out. We go to therapy at Neuroworx 5 days a week, 2-3 hours a day in Utah and then try to get home to Pocatello on the weekends. It has been good to be here in Utah and receive the fabulous therapy we are getting, but it has been hard to be away from Paul and Sawyer. We feel disconnected a lot and feel frustrated that there isn't a better option right now. We are working on future possibilities and talking to various people th