Agency: a gift and a curse

Where should I go to school?

Which major should I choose?

What will my career be?

Is a mission right for me?

Who should I marry?

So… you’re worried about the future? Welcome to the club. 

Let me start with the question about serving a mission. Whatever your circumstances, there is no greater joy than missionary work. Being a set-apart representative of Jesus Christ is life changing, I believe for eternity. If you’re on the fence about serving, or think there’s anything that could even remotely compare to the growth, joy, and power that comes from missionary service, get your butt off the fence. Satan owns the fence. Fear not. Choose to go serve. You won’t regret it.

As for the rest of those big questions… BYU has had speech after speech, devotional after devotional on these topics. Honestly, in all my studying, I still haven’t found a one-size-fits-all answer that makes the fear go away. The unknown is scary. Change is scary.

I want more than anything to do God’s will.

I’ve literally wished that Jesus would just show up in my room and say:

“Go here. Study this. Do that. Marry them.”

Wouldn’t that be nice?

…But would it really?

Here’s 5 things I’ve learned that might help. Write these down. Revisit them often.

1. Faith isn’t a perfect knowledge. God wants your faith to grow, and that wouldn’t be possible if you had all the answers up front. Faith means trusting even when you don’t know. Especially then.

2. Revelation is a skill. It can feel out of reach sometimes. Rarely do we get big visions or clear voices. Most of the time, it’s quiet, gradual, and comes as we go. And when answers don’t come, it doesn’t mean God isn’t there. Keep praying. Keep trusting.

3. Agency is a gift. We don’t grow by having someone else choose for us. God wants us to become like Him, and becoming requires learning to make choices, act in faith, and move forward even when the way is unclear. Some of the most sacred growth happens in the waiting, the trusting, and the choosing to believe when it’s hard to feel.

4. God’s will is more about who you’re becoming than where you’re going.

This is a gospel of becoming. God cares far more about the person you’re becoming than the plan you’re drafting. Become someone who trusts Him, loves others, is faithful, courageous, and selfless. That will matter more than any major or job title. 

5. The future is big, but your God is bigger. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart… and He shall direct thy paths.” If your heart is set on Him, you’re never truly off course. He has a plan for you, and it’s more beautiful than anything you can imagine.

So if you’re standing at the edge of the unknown, heart pounding and mind racing, you’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re growing. You’re learning to walk by faith.

You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. Just take the next step with faith. Heaven is cheering you on. Angels are walking with you. And God, who knows the end from the beginning, is guiding you, even if it doesn’t feel that way.

I don’t know all the answers. But I know this:

God is good. He is involved. He is proud of your efforts, and He will never let you walk alone.