The Power of Porter

I put on my best t-shirt today (Guns N Roses) and thought, "It's going to be a great day." and then I walked into the bathroom and literally scared myself as I looked in the mirror. I have GOT to invest in some makeup, which is something I have never owned in my whole life. Mascara alone doesn't seem to cover up the dark, black, puffy eye bags. Oh well.  Paul and I sat out by the pool in the backyard for a little while early this morning and enjoyed the beautiful cool air. Gearing up for the day mentally, I think, and also just trying to draw strength from above. We arrived at the hospital just in time for report. It sounds like his night was a little bit rough due to some set backs with his lungs and breathing. They also explained to us that the clot was found by a different interventional radiologist that specializes in neuro cases as he reviewed Porter's angiogram report and that he didn't see the clot on the CT scan following the surgery. So there was a li...

On my way to the hospital, I decided to ask God to give me the gift of tongues, or in other words, the capacity to be able to communicate with Porter so he wouldn't get frustrated. It was a beautiful day. Blues skies, nice temperature. Porter was alert and seemed happy when I got there. My prayer worked too. I could understand everything he was saying. First thing he said was, "I love you mommy." and he pukered up his lips and I said, "Do you really want me to kiss you on the lips?" and he nodded. So I did. I haven't kissed that boy on the lips probably since he was 5. (His breath didn't smell very good) But it made my momma heart soooooo happy. I said, "Do you wish it was _____ kissing you on the lips?" (name withheld for lack of consent) and he nodded. I laughed. He told me he had a scary dream in the night. He asked me if he had eaten anything yet. He told me he wanted to see his friends. He said, "Dote on me."  So I spent about 45...

I didn't want to leave him. I wanted to be there - watching every monitor, seeing every nurse or doctor, and witnessing any miracle of any size. There are such great people that work here at UMC. They have been sooooo sympathetic and helpful and willing to answer all of our millions of unanswerable questions. We had all been fasting. It had been a traumatic day and I had a terrible headache. I just kept thinking, "Is this really happening?" Paul and I would find ourselves going along fine and then we would just burst out crying. Thinking about how sad it is. Watching him lay there and trying to picture the road ahead. But, mostly we would cry when we would read kind texts or sweet messages of hope or hear stories of people that have recovered, or feel of the generosity of people. There are sooooooo many good people that are willing to give "the widow's mite" to help others and then there are those who without thought, give you more than you've ever seen ...

We have been planning a fun family vacation for months. A  time to all be together. Marrieds are out of school, Phoebe is home from her mission, college kids are getting ready to go do sales for the summer, Hyrum leaves soon on his mission and Porter and Sawyer are happy for a break from school. Off to St. George we went. Bikes, gear for hiking Subway, golf clubs, tennis rackets, frisbee golf discs and swimsuits all packed. Woke up on our first morning, Monday, April 26th and it was raining. What a bummer. But who cares, we can still hot tub. Everyone got in the hot tub but me (mom). Mostly because there really wasn’t any room. And maybe also because I don’t love hot tubs. I’m pretty sure by the time they got out, the hot tub was only half full from all the water that went over the edge. Oops! Sorry!   Then they all decided to head over to the pool and yes, it’s still raining. And we had to walk across razor sharp rocks to get there because we’re lazy and don’t want to walk al...