All the moments we don't want to forget
You know when you get behind in your journal and then you don't want to get it out and start writing because you know it will take you 90 hours to catch up, so you keep putting it off? Then people tell you to just start from today and don't go back and catch up? but stuff happened that you want to document....Yep! That's where I stand. So, I'm not going to take people's advice because I want to have these moments in our story. But they will be little snippets. This post is SUPER LONG and will look a little different, but I want to remember these things. And I have to keep reminding myself, this is a record for me, not for anyone else. Thanks for being here and following our journey and for your love and support and prayers. We can feel them. Please don't stop.
Porter and I came back to our room from therapy and there was a package waiting for us. He loves getting packages and we were excited to see what was in it. It had that very large bubble wrap in it and I handed it to Porter so he could pop them as I finished seeing what was in the box. He was having a tough time popping them and got frustrated and threw it on the floor. It gave me an idea. I laid it flat and told him to roll over it with his wheelchair. Big mistake. It was SOOOOOO LOUD it made me jump and I said, "Porter stop, it's too loud!" But there was no stopping him. He went around and around and over and over it. It sounded exactly like 20 whole packages of m-98 firecrackers going off. The front desk lady, a nurse and 2 aides all came running in with panic on their faces. Porter was so pleased with himself and I was nervous because I knew it was going to scare them and that it was too loud. Luckily, they all burst out laughing when they saw what was going on and knew there wasn't a problem and even encouraged him by going and finding more bubble wrap. We had a good laugh. Word spread and everyone thought it was a fun idea for the 4th of July.
Connor came to the rehab a little after Porter. He fell dirt biking and broke his back. He is from Blackfoot Idaho and is 17. He and Porter became friends. We liked to hang out with them outside and talk and when they would see each other in therapy they would either tease each other or yell encouraging phrases at each other. One night we went and visited him in his room and took him some snacks. Connor went on the outings we went on and it was fun to have someone Porter's age around. Cute kid. We were sad because he left on July 3. He came to our room and they talked for awhile and exchanged phone numbers and we said goodbye. We will miss him. I'm sure they'll keep in touch.
Dan was out of town for a couple of weeks. WE MISSED HIM! He went on vacation for the first week and then he was home for one day and then left again to take care of some family stuff. Almost every day, Porter would say, "I just miss Dan." Dan has been so good with Porter. He is super positive and has a great way of getting Porter to do a little more than he thinks he can. He can see what he needs work on and he really has learned how to read Porter. So, we missed him while he was away. There are so many great therapists here and they all are competent and helpful, but there is something about Dan that is top of the charts for us. He is AWESOME! I really like the relationship he and Porter have. I'm so grateful he's been our man.
Porter had the opportunity to go with the University of Utah Trails Program up to east canyon reservoir and go sailing and kayaking. There were parts about it that made him anxious as it approached. The drive up there, the water, the fear of falling in, the heat, and just not knowing what to expect. However, we were excited to get out. Laramie, Connor and Maddie (other patients) were all coming, so we were happy about that. Hyrum was in town so he got to come with us as well, which made it way more fun. Porter loves water sports and loves lakes and everything about it, so I was hoping he would have a positive, great, safe experience. The drive wasn't as bad as we thought it might be and we had some good laughs on the way. Ben and Natalie were in the van with us, along with Laramie and his wife. When we got there, I needed to cath Porter so we went behind the trailer and got it done. I didn't know what to do with the bag of pee pee and all the wrappers and gloves I had used and we took off his diaper and so I had quite a pile of stuff. I tucked it behind the tire of the trailer until I could find out where to dispose of it because we were just out on a beach and there really wasn't anywhere to throw stuff away. Unfortunately, I forgot about it because when we were done, they got him right into a kayak and we were on the water. I remembered later in the day when we were home and I felt terrible. I was picturing them driving away and rolling over that bag of urine and having it explode, plus having a pile of garbage. I felt terrible, so I texted Dr. Rosenbluth and apologized. He just said, 'no worries'. hahaha
The reservoir was beautiful and the water was a great temperature. We chose to go kayaking first. Hyrum and I got in a two man kayak and headed out. Porter was in a tandem kayak with Ben. They have the kayaks adapted so that they can't tip over because they have little outriggers on each side of the kayak. Also, they have a very stable seat with sides that allows them to sit securely and stay upright. They have paddles attached to the kayak and cool hand holders that Porter would put his hands in which strap him to the oar and he can push and pull to row. This program is amazing and these opportunities they provide are fantastic. I could see Porter coming alive. He was happy to be with Ben in the kayak and I feel like Porter was really enjoying himself. We were out on the water, in the sun, doing something awesome. He was splashing people with his oar and teasing the therapists. We rowed around the edges of the lake and went to the dam. Then the instructors at camp radioed out to us and asked if Porter would like to go on the sailboat. He wanted to so we ditched the others and headed back to shore. Some of the therapists came out on a jet ski and towed Porter and Ben back to shore. They manually lifted Porter from the kayak and into the sailboat. It was also adapted so that Porter could sit in the back and put his hand in a gadget that would allow him to move the rudder. There were also sip and puff straws that allowed Porter to sip or puff air on either side of his head to control the sail entirely. On the right side, he could get the mast to go in or out and on the left side, he could make the mast go to the right or the left. He was a great skipper/captain/sailor. He caught on really quickly to how the air in the sail moves the boat. I was impressed. The only unfortunate part was....there was hardly any wind. So we didn't quite get the full experience, but we had moments of catching some gusts. I feel like Porter really enjoyed that. Hyrum and I sat on either side of him on the trampoline material and Dr. Rosenbluth sat in the middle. I am just so grateful there are people that have figured out these adaptations to things that are so much fun and doable for various abled people. It was a blast. Great adventure and the people that were there to help Porter were so kind and helpful and good with him. Fun day.
Ellie and Ossian got to come visit. We were so excited to have them. They are living in Oklahoma City doing pest control summer sales and so Porter hasn't seen them in person since his accident. We have had lots of FaceTime calls but nothing like having them here with us. It's always great to have people spend a day with Porter and go to therapy with him and see what his life is like. They played games and cheered him on while lifting weights and just hung out with us. Sawyer, Paul and Hyrum all came down for the weekend as well. It was a little stressful at times because typically there should only be 2 people in the room with Porter at a time, but we would try and sneak us all in. We just all wanted to be together and could only handle being outside in the heat for so long. We even found a random picnic table on the U of U campus and went and played rummikub there one afternoon. Everyone wanted to be with Porter and Ellie and Os. They were only able to stay for a few days. But it lifted Porters spirits to see them and be with them. Ellie was so sweet with him and encouraging and validating him. Ossian was a great helper during therapy. I love to see my kids really supporting him and rallying around him.
Before Porter's accident he was told by the dentist that he had 2 cavities. I put it off and never got around to scheduling him an appointment. Those teeth started bothering him. So we made an appointment and went and got them filled. Porter has never had a cavity filled before because he's never had a cavity. For some reason, it was really hard for the dentist to get him numbed up enough to fill the cavities. So, Porter was very numb for quite some time after.
I continued to be celebrated for my birthday. Some of my friends from Pocatello came down to take me out on the town for the evening. They kept trying to plan awesome things to do when they came to see me and I kept shooting them down, telling them I didn't want to leave Porter very long. So we decided on just going out to dinner while James and Zanna came to the hospital to hang out with Porter. He was so excited about that. I was happy to leave him with them because he loves them. When my friends arrived they texted me and told me to look out my window. There they were - all holding up a big sign. I watched them from my window for a little while and laughed at them. When I went down to see them, they were standing at the entrance with a huge LONG poster that said, "50 things we love about Laura." - and it included all the reasons. How cute is that? Also, they had planned their outfits and guess what they were wearing... Guns N' roses T-shirts, cut off jean shorts and Birkenstocks. They were trying to look like me. It was so awesome. I was flattered that they wanted to dress like me. They had a shirt for me to put on so I could match too. So they wrapped me in the poster while I changed my shirt right there in the middle of the entrance to the hospital. We took a moment while they all said Hi to Porter and took some pictures. Then they gave me gifts. I have such nice, generous friends. I was feeling a tiny bit overwhelmed with all of the attention and seeing some of them for the first time, I was trying to hold in my emotions. It felt so good to see them and be with them. We went to P.F. Changs which was delicious. It was fun to catch up with them and to get out. I feel so out of touch with what's going on in Pocatello and everything that's going on in their individual lives. It kinda made me sad. I'm out of the loop. Luckily, they are the type of friends that are easy to pick up with where you left off. We had lots of laughs. We came back to the hospital after and it seemed like Porter, James and Zanna had a fun time together. I'm so glad Porter has good friends. I got Porter ready for bed and then went back downstairs and sat out on the benches and talked to Maegan and Melanie for awhile. I loved that. They were all so nice to travel to where we are and to spend the evening with me. I felt very loved and celebrated.
I found a free pedicure place. One day, we were sitting outside talking to my cute sister, Jenny and I don't remember if she told me to do it or if I just started to rub my feet on the cement sidewalk. To my surprise, it was the best pumice stone I've ever used. I sat on the ground and focused on my heels and the sides of my feet where they are rough and dry. Porter was disgusted. He kept saying, "Seriously, stop! That's so gross." The part he didn't like the most, was the sound of it. His reaction made me want to keep doing it. And I did, until they were completely smooth. I was thrilled. Free Pedicure.
Porter has some fun relationships with the therapists. One guy, in particular, and Porter like to tease each other. Porter is always talking smack about him and one day we were sitting in our room and he could hear Ben's voice out in the hall and Porter yelled, "Ben Stinks!" as loud as he could. Ben heard him and popped his head in our door and said some smart Alec thing back. Porter continued to say 'Ben Stinks' every time he would see him. One day during PT, Abby, had Porter practicing holding a marker and asked him to write a note to someone. He wrote, Ben Stinks and then signed it and gave it to him. In return, Ben wrote KICK ME very large on a piece of paper and taped it to the back of Porters wheelchair. Hahaha. Then one day, we were walking in our room after we had had therapy and on the door was the note (Ben Stinks) he had written for Ben. He was kind of bummed and said, "That's messed that he gave that back." When we entered the room, there were 20+ xeroxed copies of that note all over the room along with a sign that said, "We hope this helps with the smell." and there was a candle lit on our counter. The scent of the candle was DIRT. Next to that, was a little bottle of Poopouri. Porter laughed and laughed and thought it was very clever. He said the candle gave him PTSD of when he crashed on his bike and ate dirt. Now everyone that enters our room and sees the notes all over, wants to hear the story behind it. Good times.
When I went home for a few days while Emma and Paul were with Porter, it felt so good to go for walks with friends and do some wash and go through my mail. It opened my eyes to the bubble we have been living in. I felt like it took me a minute, but then I was reminded of my identity and that I have a life and that I want to go home. I needed to see and want Porter to know that therapy is not our life. I need to show Porter that he is still Porter and his injury is just a building block in his journey. I want him to take who he already is and use this new set of eyes to build on the life he already has. I see it happening in all of our lives. Opportunities for growth.
Porter's friends, Jack and James, came to hang out with Porter one evening. He loved seeing them. They were laughing and being silly. I know Porter misses his friends. He invited them to come on our outing for therapy the next day. We were going to go see Black Widow, so they agreed. Jack and James met us there the next day...at 10:00am. Who goes to see a movie on a wednesday and 10 am? We were pretty much the only ones in the entire theatre. It was good for Porter to have that experience and see what it looks like to go to a movie. He did well. They had him go in his manual wheelchair for actual therapy. It is definitely not as comfortable as his power chair. But he managed and figured it out. I even let him buy popcorn which I don't think we've ever done. It was a good movie. I liked it. James and Jack came back to the rehab with us and we grabbed some lunch on the way back and spent the rest of the afternoon goofing off in the lunchroom, playing the piano and laughing at each other. I'm so glad they came and made it more interesting for Porter.
One day, I had a friend reach out to me telling me about a cute girl, Sara Frei, that was going to come speak at their youth conference and invited me and Porter if we wanted to come. I had never heard about this girl, so I looked her up and read her story. She was hit head on by a drunk driver and suffered a spinal cord injury at T11 and is a double amputee at the knees. She is an amazing, strong, brave and motivated girl. She is darling. I told my friend we wouldn't be able to make it to the conference but would love to watch it on zoom. I couldn't get this cute girl, Sara, out of my head. I was so impressed by her. The next day, I was waiting for the elevator and when it opened, out rolled Sara. I said, "Hi Sara - I can't believe I'm seeing you. I just read your story last night and I am so amazed by you." and I totally started crying. She was so sweet and talked to me for a minute. She was encouraging and said some kind, hopeful things to me. Porter was in therapy or I would have gotten him to meet her. She was at the rehab because they were doing a story on her and there were film crews there to film her. So we stood by and watched a little. It was awesome meeting her.
One crazy thing we did in therapy one day was Dan taught us what to do if Porter falls out his wheelchair. It caught me off guard when he told us what we were going to do. I kind of had a panic attack. Full anxiety. I honestly had never even thought about that. I don't want him to fall out his chair. That's so stressful. UGH! so we went through it 3 times. He literally laid him on the ground and then had us get him back in his chair. I never would have thought of doing it the way they taught us. So, I'm really glad we learned how. He even had Porter learn all the steps so that he could teach a stranger what to do if we weren't there to help. Dan also took us out to our cars one day and taught us how to transfer Porter from his wheelchair into a car and back. It was super warm outside and we were all sweaty when we were done. I can't imagine how torturous that must have been for Porter. We did it a bunch of times. He's a great guinea pig.
Two of our favorite families from Virginia, the Andersons and the VanTassels, were in town (at separate times) and came to see us. It's so fun to see them and their kids that are all grown up. We left when Porter was 8 and now he's 16. So they don't necessarily know the teenage Porter, but they have been so cute about sharing memories of him when we lived there. Everyone loved him. He was HILARIOUS and kept everyone on their toes. We were so happy they made time to come see us. We loved seeing them in their T-shirts! I love them so much.
Cole Richards, a good friend Porter had from his childhood came to visit one Sunday afternoon. He asked such good questions and was so interested in Porter and his situation. He was great about just talking to him. I was impressed. They talked and talked for a couple of hours. I was so grateful he took the time to come see Porter.
Jeff, the respiratory therapist, whom Porter has connected with and has a great sense of humor and keeps Porter laughing, after finding out that Porter likes Monopoly and the Avenger Movies, offered to bring his Avengers monopoly game. They decided on a night and Jeff stayed after work and broke out the Mt. Dew and the 3 of us played Monopoly. It was very fun and Porter was his competitive, ridiculous self and thoroughly enjoyed playing. Unfortunately, he kept landing on Thanos' children and had to keep paying until he was pretty much out of money. I, on the other hand, landed on Free Parking a couple times and won the game by a landslide. Even though Porter wouldn't trade any properties with me, I still got them in the end when he had to mortgage all of them. haha I'm pretty sure they both didn't expect me to win. We had some good laughs.
The nighttime respiratory therapist, Aaron, has also developed such a great relationship with Porter. He's easy to talk to and he and Porter tease each other. Aaron is very young looking and so Porter calls him 'Kid'. He likes to hang out in our room and talk to us. I think a lot of the staff enjoy having a patient that is younger and fun.
Laramie was another patient that Porter liked to talk to. We went to visit him in his room and he came to ours a couple of times. He doesn't say much, but when he does, it's funny and he makes Porter laugh.
The docs gave Porter some socks, because that has kind of become Porter's thing and he gets attention for them. So as a parting gift, Andrea hooked him up with some sweet Stance socks. He was thrilled.
Porters friends from Pocatello, Jackson and Brock, finally found a time to come down and see him. They brought him some food and sat around laughing and talking. I always wonder what Porter is thinking - is he missing them? Is he wanting to hear what's going on in Pocatello? Does it make him sad? What is he thinking and feeling? Afterwards, I usually get a one sentence like, "it was fun to see them" but not much else.
Dave and Joni Robison came to see Porter on one of his last days in the rehab. They are the ones we stayed with in Las Vegas and they had never met Porter. They were with us from day one on this journey and knew more than anyone those first couple of weeks because every night they would be waiting up to talk to us and get an update and feed us and hug us. We were happy they came by to meet Porter. He had heard a lot about them. They brought some yummy cookies and we gave them each a Power of Porter T-shirt. Such good people.
Paul had some friends from high school reach out that wanted to come meet Porter. It is a family of tennis/pickleball players (the Owens). The boys, Hardy and Ford are on either side of Porter age wise. They were sooooo nice and Alissa, the mom, made Porter feel like he was the coolest, most important, amazing person on earth. She said so many awesome, thoughtful things that were both encouraging and inspiring. They live close to where we are going to be living. So hopefully, they can spend some time together. We loved meeting them.
I have mentioned it before, but our awesome friend, Toni Fulks, created such a cool, meaningful shirt for Porter and all of his fans. Lots of people have purchased them, showing their support and they wear them when they come to visit. I LOVE IT! It's funny because the people at the front desk of the hospital don't have to ask who they have come to see because they usually are wearing their shirt and they just say, "He's on the 3rd floor." A few of the therapists and nurses have said, "I want one of these shirts." So, Porter and I decided to order a bunch and hand them out to all the people that have helped and loved him while we have been in rehab. He had a lot of fun passing them out the last week we were there. People were touched when he handed them one. Most of them were excited to "represent" having been a part of his journey. We ended up ordering more because there were so many people that had personally influenced Porter for good. We loved seeing them in the halls and around the rehab wearing them. (I hope we didn't leave anyone out.)
Emma and Ryan got to come again and spend some time. Kind of two-fold - Hyrum was scheduled to speak in church before his mission began and also, to see Porter. It was Ryan's birthday as well. So lots of fun going on. They are helpful and fun. Ryan keeps Porter laughing. Emma loves being hands on. It was great.
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