Getting out of Bed

Porter was a little restless in the night. He has a lot of phlegm and gunk that just sits in the back of his throat because he can't cough it up and so it just gurgles and sounds very junky. So, multiple times in the night he would cough and cough and cough and wasn't able to move the mucus. We would have to call the respiratory therapist to come in and suction him or give him a breathing treatment. Finally, at about 3:45am, from not having slept much, he was getting tired. He couldn't seem to relax so they gave him a touch of an anti-anxiety medication. He went right to sleep and didn't move until 8:30 when they came in to start the routine for the day. I was also grateful to get a few hours of shut eye. I have had so many people tell me to take care of myself and I am! But I AM going to continue to sleep here with him because he needs me and I know he likes knowing I'm right there to help with anything he needs. I'm just looking at it like new-born life and I survived that. I can sleep the rest of my life....I want to be here for Porter. 

We got to see Miranda again first thing in the morning. It kind of startled her when she walked in and asked Porter something and he responded full voice. We both shared huge smiles to each other and I thanked her for being a miracle worker. She was excited about his progress and right away wanted to do another swallow test with dye. I could see Porter's face kind of say, "I don't want to be disappointed again." But when she told him what she was going to do, he was all about it. I think he'd do anything it takes to get eating and drinking again. We facetimed Paul so he could be in on the action. Miranda dyed some food blue and started giving him little bites and drinks. We would wait in between to see what was happening and to our complete and utter joy - we saw no traces of dye - not in his stoma, not in the trach and not even when we would suction him. Oh man, we were trying so hard not to freak out. She said, "Ok Porter, this is really good, BUT I can't clear you to eat until we do another barium swallow test under fluoroscopy, which we can't do until tomorrow." Fine with me - we'll take it. She did say he could chew on a few ice chips after we brush his teeth. He was happy about that and probably asked me to brush his teeth 4 times throughout the day. Not for oral hygiene, but for the ice chips. We are happy about all of this that is going in the right direction. 

In the afternoon, when the physical therapy (PT) and occupational therapy (OT) team walked in, Porter said "S'up  squad?" They all cheered and were thrilled to hear him talk and have a personality. I know it will make such a difference for him to be able to communicate with them and be more interactive in his care. They brought in a cool power wheelchair today and wanted to get him out of bed and in the chair. It's so amazing the equipment they have here and the ways they are able to maneuver them. They have these tracks on the ceilings that are connected to a lift and so they put Porter in a full body harness and then lift him with this thing and then slide him across the room and place him in his chair. It's amazing. Just to get a better visual, the chair reclines and has a head rest and is very supportive. I was a little nervous as I watched, but they knew just what they were doing. When he got into the chair, he was light-headed so they just let him sit there for awhile. He has been laying in bed for 2 solid weeks. So I'm sure the feeling of being upright and getting swung through the air was exhilarating, but maybe also terrifying. He was so brave and as soon as his head stopped spinning, they decided to give him a little tour of the building and the gyms where he will do all of his therapy and training. It is such an amazing facility. When he got down there, they had some rap music going and Porter started spittin bars. Dan, the PT, was impressed, but unfortunately it was the explicit version, which Porter had never heard (wink wink) so old mommy was like, ummmmm, can we change the station? Jade, the other therapist, picked Taylor Swift and Porter said he liked her music, which made Jade very happy. Porter's a well rounded guy. During therapy, they worked on him sitting up, holding up his head, and putting weight on his arms. Every day he seems to be getting stronger. They are so positive and encouraging with him. 

Porter had a phycologist come and visit with him about what he can and can't remember and how the accident happened and some of his feelings around that and his current situation. He was pretty stoic and she encouraged him to FEEL it all and to find someone that he feels safe with to talk to about it. I know this may be one of our biggest struggles with him. But I also know, that with God Nothing is Impossible.   

We had a couple of visitors, which is always a welcome treat. Not only because they bring us treats, but because its a treat to get some hugs and support. Everyone is so tender with Porter and say such thoughtful kind things to him. We are so blessed to have so many people. It's so awesome to hear about different organizations and companies that are doing fund raisers or having special days for Porter. Paul said it has been weird this week to be back in Pocatello and just trying to go about normal life. Everything seems different. Our perspectives have changed. The house feels empty. His thoughts are constantly in Salt Lake. People that he doesn't know just walk up to him and say, "We are praying for your family" or "we love you and hope the best for your son." We feel beyond grateful. 

I love to pray by Porter's bedside each night and recount, with him, all the wonderful blessings we have seen, all the tender mercies of a loving Heavenly Father and the miracles, whether great or small, that are moving our progress forward. We have had sweet conversations about taking things for granted, like swallowing, or hocking a loogie, or blowing your nose, or being able to hold your head up. Simple everyday occurrences we have never even thought about. We have talked about the Savior being the only one that really knows how we feel and what we're going through. These vulnerable moments with my Porter will be forever etched in my heart.