We are builders

Hiking the Subway in Zion National Park was one of the things we were looking forward to most about our vacation. We have put in for a permit for a couple of years and were so happy when we got it. As it got closer this week, we decided it would be good for the kids to be out in nature and make some memories. Of course, I told Paul to go ahead and go with the kids, because I still can't break away from my baby. Luckily, I've done the hike and so I felt ok about it. They had to get up early to get everything ready and I got them on their way. It was kind of sad because it's the last time I'll be with Ellie and Ossian before they head to Oklahoma for the summer to do sales. Its been so good for our family to be together in this and not have any other distractions of school, life, work or anything. We have been able to focus on Porter and each other and being a family. I have been so proud of my kiddos (and their awesome spouses) this week....all of them. They can do hard things. They are strong. They are faithful. They know where to turn for peace. I started a family motto quite a few years back - WE ARE BUILDERS! I would say (or yell) it to them when they would be unkind or critical of each other. It has taken on new significance to me this week. It is time for us to Build. Build our faith. Build our testimonies. Build an atmosphere of positivity. Build a world where Porter can progress and recover. Build relationships. Build our desire to serve and love better. Our lives are made up of building. I love building things and I'm happy to take on this new project and build a beautiful life with my family with a slightly different blueprint than I previously had in mind. 

Porter had a restless night. They said he had been labile, which means he would spike or drop his numbers with just the slightest change. But, by the time I got to the hospital, he had settled down and seemed peaceful. The doctor came and talked to me and said they had decided he needs to be on heparin (an anticoagulant) for another day or two. Keeping him from having a stroke is TOP priority. So they will keep him on it until Monday and then do some imaging and see where we stand with blood clots. They have tentatively planned the tracheostomy for Tuesday. With that in mind, they decided to change the tube to the other side of his mouth since he'll have it for a few more days. About halfway through that ordeal, I had to leave the room. Its torture watching him gagging, eyes watering, and his face turn red. I CAN NOT imagine how uncomfortable that must be and frustrating. He was wheezing and gurgling and they were suctioning his tube and his mouth and retaping it all. Oh man. It was too much. So, I found myself again pacing the hall. I am learning sometimes I need to step away and take some deep breaths. When I returned, all was well. We have been trying to turn him ever so slightly to avoid skin irritation and weight loading. His temperature was spiking and dropping all day, so they started to worry about infection. I hope he doesn't have an infection. 

It was a pretty uneventful day, which is good. He was opening his eyes way more and I read this blog to him. He facetimed some cousins and he listened to music. He looks good. He's being such a good sport. I feel like my heart was fragile today, but not as heavy. We will be fasting tomorrow as a family for Porter's diaphragm to work so that he will be able to breathe on his own. Also, we will pray that he does not get any new clots and that the ones that were there will be gone. You are welcome to join us in our effort to unite our faith and prayers in Porter's behalf.

Kindnesses and blessings have been evident all throughout the day. We appreciate anyone and everyone that has reached out to us and prayed for Porter and supported us as we climb this mountain. 

We opened a really fun package tonight from the girls/friends I work with in Pocatello. They designed and sent us the cutest t-shirts EVER. We LOVE THEM!

http://bit.ly/porterbrinton