Out of doors

I'm sorry I'm behind on the days. Keeping a busy schedule here. I'm going to try and get a couple posts out today and get caught up. 

I just have to start with a shout-out to Steve. I am not sure who it is, but last night when I was editing a post, I accidentally fell asleep, standing up, hahaha just kidding but it's not far from the truth, with my hand on the computer and must have pushed something that erased all but 2 paragraphs of one of my posts and I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't find it and I knew I wouldn't be able to re-write it and I totally didn't want to have to - so I said a prayer and had a thought to post a plea for help from anyone that may have it copied or have saved it. I went to sleep feeling sad and frustrated and when I woke up - STEVE - had commented and sent it to me. I truly was SOOOOOOO grateful and so reassured that Heavenly Father is still listening and still answering and still not sick of me even in the minute (pronounced my-noot) details. Thanks Steve - I owe you one. I'd love to know who you are.

Friday - I feel like everyday is something new and exciting. We are learning so much. Today we had a great visit with Miranda and she is very happy with the way things are going. Porter informed her that eating isn't as great as he thought it would be. First of all, he never feels hungry and full. So he doesn't really know when to eat or how much. When he tries to eat, it's very tiring. The muscles in his throat are a little weak right now and so it requires a lot of energy and strength to chew food. And he is practicing breathing when he chews because sometimes people with trachs forget to breathe. He enjoys the food while it's in his mouth but he doesn't see the point of eating anymore. A lot of the satisfaction is gone. Miranda reassured him that his mouth and neck muscles will strengthen and he'll feel like he did before the accident. Miranda also had been noticing him close his eyes a lot when they would talk and a couple of times he's asked people to not talk so loud. After reviewing some of his symptoms, they are confident that Porter suffered a concussion in the accident. Which is a little thing compared to what it could have easily been. He did not have any traces of brain injury or brain bleed or skull fracture. He hit his head very hard and so it's not too surprising. She spent some time teaching us about concussions and what we can do to help him heal.

The occupational therapist Abby, got Porter up today and in his chair and brought him a cool wrist brace that holds things for you. She talked to him about everyday personal care. She took him in the bathroom and put him in front of the mirror. Porter gave an audible gasp and was like, "I had no idea my head looked like that." He said he knew he had a lump on his head but didn't realize just how large it was. I didn't think about the fact that he hasn't looked at himself for over 2 weeks and doesn't know how he looks, let alone how he feels about how he looks. There are so many things like that. New insights and ways of looking at things. Abby talked to him all about learning to do all his normal things a new way and by himself. She got the toothpaste on the brush and held his arm up so he could brush his teeth. 

He did great. He has good movement in his biceps and so they are utilizing the muscles that obviously work and then trying to fire some of the muscles that don't work as well yet. These every day routines can work as exercise and functionality movement. We want Porter to be as independent as he can be. We went down to the gym and they did some stretching and strengthening exercises. Then Dan said, "Let's get you outside." We put some of my sunglasses on Porter and headed out. It was a beautiful day and a perfect temperature. Porter is really good at maneuvering his wheelchair. He can totally do it all by himself. He always wants us to put it in a faster gear so we don't have to go so slow. We drove all around U of U campus and it was very fun to get Porter out of the rehab center. I think he's only been outside once to get flown to Utah since his accident. His breathing was good outside and it looks like he's getting used to his chair. We parked for a little bit while they did some stretching with him and talking about his life. They are young and interesting and ask great questions and I can see them developing a relationship with Porter. Everyone feels genuinely interested in Porter and his recovery. It's such a great place.

When we got back to the room, Dan challenged Porter to stay in his wheelchair for another 45 minutes. It still makes Porter a little light headed and uncomfortable, but he explained to him how good it is for his body to be upright instead of horizontal and that it's great for his blood flow and bones to keep working. So, Porter took on the challenge. As we sat there starring out the HUGE wall of windows that makes up one side of our room, we could see people walking around and riding bikes and hiking on the mountain behind us. Porter said, "Everyone takes their bodies for granted. I know I did." and then his tears started to fall. I looked at him and his sad eyes of realization and just wept with him. I don't know what to say. I don't know what he wants to hear or what would make him feel better. I don't know if I should just be quiet and let him process or if I should give words of empathy or what. I HAVE NO IDEA! My heart was reaching to all sorts of depth to find the right thing to say. "It's true." is all that came out. We let the silence linger for awhile." I said, "There won't be many people in your life that will truly understand how you feel." Immediately he said with conviction, "Jesus knows." and he legit looked satisfied knowing that. The warmth in my heart was reassuring. Precious moment. 

He was getting antsy, so I asked the nurse for some ice cream. I fed him the ice cream and then they decided to take his staples out of his head. Ummmmmm......I got the full shivers the first second she even started talking about it. My gag reflex was waiting for it's cue and I had to sit down. haha The best part was the nurse said, "Hmm, I've never used a tool like this before." as she examined some small pair of tweezer/cutter things. That didn't make me feel very confident. But, she started removing them and Porters wincing face got worse and worse with each one. She stopped after about 5 and went and got some lidocaine cream and rubbed it along his head where the staples were. Porter also wanted to get back in bed, having stayed in his chair for about 90 min total - 45 more than Dan asked. Distraction was helpful.

Porter got his first shower tonight! Boy is that a process. But he was VERY happy to have that warm water over his shoulders and going down his back. We got him all cleaned up and then as we were trying to get him back into bed he got really cold. So we got about 4 heated blankets and warmed him up, tucked him in bed and then Paul, Hyrum and Sawyer got here. It was a happy reunion. The boys have only facetimed Porter since the accident. They have not been able to see him, so it was fun. Hyrum was getting Porter to laugh and it was good to connect. We are excited about this weekend.